Weird Sales Clerk Admits: I do read the Tabloids

The tabloid weeklies are known far and wide for their sordid tales of Britney's missing underpants, Bat Boy, and Brangelina's newest adoptee. Some are even known for stooping to a political level, wreaking havoc through claims of Laura Bush's roboticness and George Bush's tippling and extramarital affairs. The most popular, The National Examiner and The Sun, are both for sale at the West Duluth Super America.

Ken Hutchins, an employee at Super America for over 2 years, used to claim he never touched them. Cup Morris, manager at Super America, believed him: "Ken always claimed he never read them, and I believed him."

Hutchins explains it differently, saying that "I never meant any harm. But when the headline read 'DiCaprio Poses Nude,' I had to pick it up. After that, I was hooked, even though it was a one-time thing. I only read them that once at work."

Customers have a different take. Beth Quentin gets her coffee from Super America every morning. "Ken was reading those things all the time. Every morning he gorged himself on another one. I think sometimes he might've read them more than once, even. And he was definitely reading them well before Leonardo DiCaprio posed nude. I mean, that was just two months ago. The first time I remember Ken reading one was when The Weekly World News did an expose on Bat Boy's genealogy, which had to be back in '05."

Manager Cup Morris believes the integrity of news publications are important to Super America. "We like to deliver to our customers a genuine new product. We don't want to go around selling used newspapers, even if they are weeklies." Morris has a strategy for determining which employees are reading the weeklies, now that it has come to light. "Now that this has come to light, I'm going to do more - dust for fingerprints, if need be." Hutchins, however, will escape discipline for the time being. His only punishment? He will be required to refill the beer and soda cooler daily.

"I don't mind that sort of work," said Hutchins gleefully, "it gives me more opportunities to stare at the customers."