Tuesday, September 4

Controversy Strikes NE Regional Little League World Series


Anger and bitterness followed the completion of the Virginia vs. Silver Bay today in Duluth, where Silver Bay routed the Bluegills 17-1. In the unsuprising final, Jose Nunez hit eight home runs, driving in 16 of the Pellets' runs. Rather than the typical post-game handshake, the angry Bluegills attacked the Pellets, bats in hand. The Minnesota National Guard was able to break up the melee after two hours. Three Pellets are in the hospital today, including Nunez.

A major part of the angst arose over the age of Nunez. According to league documents, Nunez is 13 years old, which has been substantiated by his parents through a verifiable birth certificate. The Bluegill coach, Glen Hongisto, believes them. "If they have a birth certificate, I've got to believe them. What choice do I have? It's a legal document. Who cares if it's from Panama, a country known for falsifying birth certificates world-wide to further the likelihood of their talented youth atheletes acheiving success in the United States. I have to trust it. A document is a document."

The Raging Spade thought otherwise. Through illegal means, we have acquired Nunez's dental records. They reveal that there is likely more to him than what meets the eye. Jim Nelson, Duluth's local barber/dentist, has examined the records on behalf of The Raging Spade. Nelson thinks that "without seeing him in person, it is impossible to know. But I would say there is a 40-50% chance that he is at least 23 years old."

What is the benefit of an aged Little Leaguer? It is clear that an ability to hit pitches out of the park would follow with age. Hongisto, hearing the news, was incredulous. "Where did they get that document, if he's so old? He probably isn't that old, because you can't just get a document from anywhere. But if he was, it would pose a problem. He would probably be able to hit a few more home runs than the typical player."

The Raging Spade would like to thank the Duluth-Gary Jail Services Division for granting us access to Glen Hongisto for this interview. As this article goes to the internet, Hongisto remains jailed on charges of child endangerment and engaging in a riot.