Wednesday, August 2

Like the Phoenix...

The long and painful Raging Spade hiatus has gone on long enough. It’s time for the Spade to rise again. So I thought I’d get things going again with a hard-hitting editorial.

Why Grapes Are the Best Fruit to Eat at Work

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That’s all fine and good. Sure, apples provide you with a benefit. But they ask so much in return that they are not good work snacks. With apples, there are two options: cut them up, or eat them whole. Both methods present problems. If you bring apple slices with you to work, they get slimy and gross. Scientists have determined that an apple slice exposed to the air will turn brown in 14.3 seconds. And who wants to eat nasty brown apple slices? If you try to avoid this, your option is to eat the apple whole. Many problems arise in this situation. First, the sound of biting into apples is really loud. Second, it makes you look common. Third, difficulties arise when you need both of your hands. You need to set it down on a part that you won’t eat, and the apple needs to be of a correct proportion so that it won’t roll over. For these reasons, apples are not an ideal mid-morning work snack.

Grapes, on the other hand, are perfect for snacking at your desk. They take precious little prep work. There is no cutting of stems, no slicing, no need to worry about discolored fingers. Each grape is self contained. They just sit there until you have a second to eat one.

Congratulations, grapes, for being convenient and nutritious.