Sunday, October 2

Is the Mayor of Proctor Communist? No!

Now, I am not referring to the current mayor of Proctor, or to any former mayor of Proctor in specific. Rather, I am referring to the general fact that mayors of Proctor aren't communist. I'm not judging, either. Really.

I don't care one way or another whether the mayor of Proctor is communist. But you sure can tell that he or she is not. For one thing, there's not a lick of graft in the City. Trust me, there'd be graft in a communist city. No to judge graft. It would just be different.

One other difference between Proctor and a communist city is the lack of shared services and housing. It's sort of communist how we have the City plowing our roads, but it's not like we're all living in concrete block government-owned housing. And it isn't like the mayor makes us all buy our clothes from the same store that sells clothes of one color only. Not to mention our dilapidated sidewalks - it is a sure sign of capitalism when government isn't repairing the sidewalks. There must be a shortage of concrete. Typical capitalists.

Trust me, if the mayor was a communist, he'd be out there pouring new sidewalks himself, hauling and mixing concrete in a wheelbarrow. Luckily, that's not our mayor. He's no communist.

What would Karl Marx have to say about Proctor? Well, he'd probably congratulate him on his successful administration of a government institution in a capitalist society - a tough feat, given that capitalists hate government. But he wouldn't call him a communist. Marx would surely recognize that the Proctor mayor doesn't encourage enough pollution or prosecute enough political dissenters to be a communist.

If Proctor merges with Midway Township, would they cause a communist to be elected mayor? Probably not - out in Midway, they're even less communist than Proctor residents. And I know for a fact that they hate a good sidewalk. In Midway, if a sidewalk's not crumbling, it soon will be.

Good riddance, you communists.