Homeless to Mayor: Eat Crow

Local homeless are finally standing up and telling the mayor to eat crow, after a long drought of communication between the two parties. “We just want the mayor to know that he’s wrong when he says that it’s the obligation of the city to help the homeless. He just keeps talking, constantly, about how the city can help us. Isn’t he going to feel stupid when he finds out he’s wrong.”

The homeless peoples’ representative cited claims made by the Bush administration as proof that the mayor must be crazy. “Bush says, correctly, that we don’t need public money to get us back on our feet, even in the most dire or ridiculous of circumstances. He’s made us realize that even though we may have become homeless through circumstances completely beyond our control, we’ll pull through as long as we have faith in the Republic, that great bastion of freedom, the USA.”

The mayor’s office issued a prepared statement in response to the claims made by the homeless. “I believe we should help those in need. I think cuts in funding to local governments are bad public policy. If I’m wrong, I’ll happily take the next bus to Appalachia, shoot me some crow, and bake it in a pie. Actually, I might just skin it and boil it, like they used to do in the old days.”

The mayor has never been seeing eating crow in the past. The Spade was able to locate several old photos of the mayor eating pheasant, however. Local homeless, on the other hand, have eaten crow on several occasions in the past few months, primarily due to their wrong-headed support of Bush policies. Statistics show that aid to the homeless has decreased 145% in the Duluth-Superior area since January of 2001, primarily due to cuts in aid from the Republican state and federal administrations.