Tuesday, March 1

Area Residents Hesitant to Beat Up That Guy Now

Since joining a Duluth motorcycle gang, Johnny Thompson is getting beaten up much less frequently.

According to a former classmate of Thompson’s, “Oh yeah, Johnny Thompson. He was, you know, kind of short and chubby. A doughy kid. Never won a fight in his life. If you wanted to hit someone, you’d go find Johnny Thompson.”

Things changed when Thompson joined a Duluth motorcycle gang. “Then he joined that motorcycle gang. Dressed up in leather and chains and all that, and all the sudden you weren’t sure if you should start a fight with this guy.”

The gang may be a blessing for Thompson, but it is proving to be a curse for area residents. Mr and Mrs Defarge of Grand Avenue have called the police several times to complain about the noise the motorcycles generate. Mr Defarge reports, “Oh yeah, those doggone motorbikes are louder than blazes.” The motorcycles have frequently interrupted the Defarges’ evening activities. The noise has distracted Mr Defarge from his crossword puzzle, often taking him “out of the zone.” As for Mrs Defarge, the approach of motorcycles down Grand Avenue has repeatedly startled her and nearly screwed up her knitting.