Friday, January 21

DTA Bus Plows Into Wabasha Bookstore

(Duluth) 5:05 PM – A partially filled DTA bus drove directly into Wabasha Books at 4:37 PM today, strewing porn across several City blocks. No one was injured in the crash. At this time, DTA bus driver Tom Johannsen is in Police Custody. Johannsen was heavily intoxicated at the time of the crash.

Brad Nadeau, owner of Wabasha Books, stated that all damaged products were insured. However, Nadeau believes that because the driver was at fault, the City will have to pay to replace his entire lost stock of porn. “People are picking the porn up out of the streets. I can’t begin to clean it up with all this snow. It’s like a free-for-all out there. Tons and tons of free porn. And the City’s buying. Your tax dollars at work!”

Several DTA customers have gone on record anonymously discussing Johannsen’s unhealthy obsession with porn. One customer stated, “Johannsen was always talking about how great Wabasha was. I guess he really liked the private booths, but he was also pretty interested in their selection of erotic books.”