Tuesday, January 11

Aquarium to be leased to High bidder

The troubled and reportedly worthless aquarium is planning to sell off their fish by the pound. Some analysts have claimed that sturgeon meat could bring in as much as $20 an ounce. The spines, or spikes, on the back of the fish can be ground up and sold as cough syrup in rural areas of eastern Siberia.

Once the current tenants are chopped up and sold, the task comes to leasing the building. There is much speculation as to who would be interested in it. The dreaded tourism board will surely want to have their piece of the pie. I have two words STRIP JOINT! Duluth needs a real state of the art nudie bar. No more late night sobering runs to Scanlon. This would be the real thing. Locals would not have to run to the Vu in the cities to see real non scary girls. That is just my suggestion if you have others, let them be known.