Sunday, July 3

Spade Reporter Nomination Announced

Hibbing - In a press conference earlier today up on the "Iron Ridge" of Minnesota, President George W. Bush revealed who he will recommend to be appointed to the Supreme Court seat soon to be vacated by the retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor: Spade Reporter/Legal Eagle Ekaterina "Kate" Oblonsky.

Oblonsky, a liberal, was not even named by the press as a possibility prior to Bush's press conference. The announcement has propelled the relative unknown on to the world's stage. Calls to her office were not returned before press time.

An impromptu parade was organized in downtown Duluth in honor of Ms. Oblonsky, led by local historian Tari Brine. "This is a historic day for all of America, not just Duluth," shared Brine.

Before being named to the Supreme Court, Ms. Oblonsky will have to endure extreme public scrutiny and an extensive background check.

The White House offered no additional comment on the nomination.